textgasm: archive

rating: 2.9/5 (18 votes cast)

even though i take antidepressants i still feel like crap most of the time. the pills only help to make it manageable.

rating: 3.2/5 (22 votes cast)

i am unsure if i'm with the person that i'm supposed to be with or if i'm wasting my time again. i blame my ex for making me wonder.

rating: 3.0/5 (26 votes cast)

When I was 8, I found some kittens in a garage, still mewing, but stiff and frozen to the floor. I chose to end their misery with a bat.

comments disabled

rating: 2.8/5 (24 votes cast)

I quit FP but still hang out in the IRC channel.

rating: 2.4/5 (14 votes cast)

I attended a gang-bang via a craigslist posting, but when I saw how fat she was in person, I couldn't maintain an erection.

rating: 2.7/5 (20 votes cast)

I'm supposed to be working right now, but I'm not.

rating: 2.9/5 (32 votes cast)

When I was about 12, I was taking a shower and had an erection. I acidentally pissed in my mouth and slightly enjoyed it.

rating: 2.8/5 (21 votes cast)

i get pissed on by Japanese business men under a glass table for 10 pounds.

rating: 2.8/5 (19 votes cast)

i enjoy having sex on pearl jam posters with strange men.

rating: 3.2/5 (21 votes cast)

If I hear sirens after a coworker leaves the office I secretly hope they just got killed in a wreck.

rating: 3.6/5 (30 votes cast)

I'm in charge of the computers at work, and I regularly disregard the rules I enforce on others.

rating: 2.5/5 (19 votes cast)

I played mini-golf a few times when the Gulf War was going on.

rating: 3.1/5 (21 votes cast)

I'm a member of a secret society intent on controlling the people of Earth and using it's resources for own needs. It's going well.

rating: 2.2/5 (17 votes cast)

i see sarah jessica parker on the street often during my morning commute, each time I wish she would stop me to comment on my awesome outfit

comments disabled

rating: 2.9/5 (31 votes cast)

i am piling while at work.

rating: 2.9/5 (19 votes cast)

just spent the better part of an hour trying to code a C=64 type scroller in Objective-C instead of playing with my puppy and/or girlfriend

rating: 2.3/5 (18 votes cast)

when I was 8 i fed an ant to a baby chameleon and it bit its tongue and i hid it.

comments disabled

rating: 3.5/5 (31 votes cast)

i inadvertently destroyed an antique collectible that my relative had been saving for 20 years. still haven't told them it's gone.

« previous 1 2 3 4 5 ... 15 16